Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me ....
Wait, REALLY?? Do we truly believe that WORDS can't hurt?
Our words are powerful.
We can build resilience and learn tostay calm when others are rude or hurtful. We can try to ignore insults and use only kind words ourselves.
But the truth is,
words can cause lasting harm to any one of us.
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Swears. Using bad language is on the rise and that's not a good thing.
Swearing can make people feel uncomfortable and create a negative environment. Curse words are disrespectful. Using bad language can give the impression that you don't care about others.
If you want to show people your best self, choose a better word.
People swear when they might have a hard time expressing big emotions. You must find the courage to say what you mean and ask for what you need.
Be smart. Find your courage. Listen to your heart. There is always a better word.
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Jokes.Sometimes jokes aren't funny. Sometimes jokes can really hurt.
Humor should connect people and bring us together. Good jokes can make the mood light and fun. We just need to ensure that everyone is included and feels safe when the laughter happens.
Never joke about the unique characteristics of a group or individual. Don't use profanity or mean words. A joke isn't a joke if it hurts.
"You're too sensitive."
"Chill out. I was just kidding."
"Can't you take a joke?"
If you've ever been on the receiving end of one of these comments, you know it can make you feel even worse than the joke that was just made at your expense.
If a mistake is made and someone is hurt by a joke, don't minimize it.
Admit your mistake. Apologize and make it right. Do better the next time.
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The Words We Tell Ourselves.
Perhaps the most important words are the words we tell ourselves. Sometimes we might struggle with a challenge, or we might make a mistake.
We might be angry and call ourselves names or put ourselves down. Our words matter. If we're not careful, we can start to believe the words we say.
Choose KIND words, forgiving words, accepting words. Tell yourself you are GOOD and SMART, FUNNY and KIND.
If we are careful, we will BE the WORDS we TELL ourselves.
Our words are powerful. Choose wisely. Show that you respect and care about the people around you.
The “in like a lion, out like a lamb” saying makes sense because March is typically when we see the transition between winter and spring. The weather can be wild and windy and less predictable when we begin the month and it usually calms down, warms up, and becomes more settled by the end. We can start to discard all of the warm protective gear that has kept us feeling safe and warm, and begin to enjoy the heat from the sun once again.
Going through transitions and change is much like experiencing the month of March.In the beginning we often experience a variety of strong emotions, and often feel like we have no control. Once we have passed through the change, we often find that we have learned a lot and can even feel stronger.
Here are a few transitions that might feel challenging to manage:
Changing friendships or social groups
Beginning school, or changing schools
Transitioning to middle school
Moving to a new home or city
Welcoming a new sibling
Parents’ separation or divorce
Losing a loved one or pet
While we cannot affect how the month of March will go, there are a number of things we CAN DO when we experience change. One really helpful activity is called the Circle of Control. The circle of control is a tool that helps us think about what we can and can't control in our lives. It's a way of thinking that can help us focus on what we can change and let go of what we can't.
What things can YOU control?
Whatever we are experiencing, it is ALWAYS important and helpful to share our feelings with people we trust. If you are going through a change, think about your thoughts and how your body feels. Try to name your feeling. Wonder about WHY you feel that way. Then think of ways you can move ahead.
When we notice and share our feelings, we take back the power they have. It helps us to feel in control and calm.
Change can be scary, but change can also lead to new things.
Change can help us to grow and feel even stronger than before.
ALL feelings matter. Everything we experience is part of what makes us us. Emotions can be messy, complicated, and just plain confusing. Learning to name our emotions and talk about them — by ourself and with others — is a key part of developing our emotional intelligence and well being.
We are human and we will experience every emotion in our lifetime, but we are not our emotions alone, and we do not need to be controlled by our emotions either. Feeling content, good, and positive can happen and being healthy and happy is where our body will feel best and function best.
We can feel that way every day, regardless of the the many feelings that
come and go. Below are a few GREAT strategies for finding your happiness ~
Name It to Tame It is a powerful way to manage our strong emotions. All it requires is noticing and labeling emotions as they’re happening. The act of identifying an intense emotion (“naming”) has the effect of reducing the stress and anxiety (“taming”) in the brain and the body that that emotion is causing.
Practicingmindfulness can also help us feel balanced. It's a reminder to stop and think 🤔 and appreciate all that we are experiencing in that moment. Mindfulness can help us calm our bodies and thoughts. Being more mindful means we can stay focused and in control of our thoughts and feelings.
Practice Gratitude. Intentionally appreciating the things, people and experiences
that bring us joy can improve our mood and feelings of happiness.
Remember to breathe deeply. Deep breathing can help relax your body and calm your mind. There are many different ways to practice, try a few fun ones HERE! The less tense you feel, the happier you'll be.
Get Outside!Spending time in nature can be rejuvenating and calming. You can try gardening, walking in the grass, or just sitting and reflecting quietly.
ALL feelings really do matter. Everything we experience is part of what makes us us. We CAN learn ways to feel more calm and happy and appreciate all that we feel and experience.
Strategies to help us feel happy, peaceful and calm.
December is fun with snow and so many holidays. It can be a happy time! We might also feel other BIG feelings.
If you feel silly,angry,worriedor SAD do YOU know what to do?
Practice and use the Calm Down Steps, and they will be a big help when your feelings feel BIG.
step 1STOP This is the hardest step when your feeling are BIG. Remember to tell yourself STOP, or WAIT, or THINK to give yourself time to pause.
step 2NAME YOUR FEELINGHappy, sad and mad are easy to remember, but don't forget new words like DISAPPOINTED, FRUSTRATED, ANNOYED AND WORRIED. It is important to KNOW and name our feelings and why we are having them. Say them out loud. Share them with an important grown-up.
step 3CALM DOWNWe all have our own ways to calm down, what are yours? Choose a few that you know will work for YOU!
~ Ways to Calm Down ~
Did you know justNAMING YOUR FEELING begins to help you calm down? Expressing our thoughts and feelings can help us feel more in control, and that feels good!
Focus on Your Breathing. There are so many different kinds of breath. Try one we learned, or explore with your important grown ups and find more ideas!
Take a walk.Have a drink of water. Hug your pet or a stuffy. Dance.TALK to a friend or important grown up.Listen to music. Play outside.Hug a person or a pillow.Rest.
Use positive self - talk:
I AM STRONG. I AM KIND. I AM SMART. I CAN DO ANYTHING!
Draw, paint or craft, or Zen Doodle to give your body and brain time to relax.
Can YOU think of other ways to calm down?
Did you know that being kind to others makes you happy too? This month and all year, try to practice Random Acts of Kindness. Below is a calendar to get you started!
Even MORE ideas:
Mind Yeti shares some wonderful research-based videos that help kids and their adults calm their minds and focus their attention.